About Allen Gold

The Source of my Inspiration

The source of my inspiration arises from my own journey to integrate my spiritual and psychological values with some of the harsher realities of our common culture. In my late teens I was simultaneously drawn into the world of commerce as well as the spiritual path. I approached both these undertakings with boundless enthusiasm. This often placed me on a collision course with myself as I tried to bridge two seemingly different realities. The way I made sense of it all was to explore my engagement with the business world as a spiritual path. If intimate relationship or shamanism are considered gateways to the Self, why not the art of manifestation, form and money?

More… I have been an intrepid entrepreneur. By the time I reached 30 years old, I had founded a successful publicity company, restaurant, clothing manufacturer, retail fashion chain, film production company and a seminar company. I started my business career at 19. In the mid-seventies, I spent three years training in Psychosynthesis and Gestalt therapy whilst running my businesses. After refining my listening and communication skills I then went into private practice. Four years later I once again returned to business and entered the world of corporate finance in Silicon Valley. I founded a financial services company that green lighted over $1.5 billion in investments in several hundred young companies. During the nineties we became one of the leading venture investors in the US environmental industry. The nature of the finance and the environmental business is litigious. As a firm we had our fair share of exposure to litigation in the US civil courts, both as plaintifs and defendents. Not fun! I was married for ten years, raised an amazing daughter and have been in several long-term relationships. I counted 12 years of uninterrupted relationship counseling as a client, over 3 partnerships. They don’t give PhDs to clients, however I certainly earned one and paid for three.

Suffice it to say, I have been in the world. My activities have offered me many opportunities to feel the fear of loss and death and I certainly made use of them. I have felt plenty of survival chemistry surging through my body. Thankfully, my experiences also affirmed the extraordinary creative power of the Self. Several years ago, out of a desire for deeper authenticity, I embarked upon a descent, a true dark night of the soul. This journey, which lasted more than three years, stripped me bare of most of my illusions and delusions. I could feel no love present for this entire time. I could write a book about the nothingness that ensued, and I probably will. I faked running my business during this period, however, on the other side; I was done to a crisp. It took another two years to successfully disentangle myself from nine companies and seven partnerships. There were lots of lessons here on how to withdraw from form. In 2001 I took a retreat. Six months were spent on Holy Island, a Tibetan Buddhist hermitage off the coast of Scotland, where my companions were mostly monks, nuns, goats and gulls. It did wonders for healing my nervous system to be out of the “culture” for some time. Lots of lessons there too.

We all want to live a successful life. My observations of myself and others that I respect is that loving oneself, nurturing integrity and understanding what that really means to each of us individually, is the essential skill required to live a successful life. This is true irrespective of financial gain or any of the other images that define the cultural dream. While I was struggling and suffering through the complexities that I had woven through my own business and personal life, there was no one to talk to other than my therapists or my lawyers, each with their own appropriate professional agendas. There was no one who had “been there, done that”, who was sober, experienced and could align with my values and consciousness. I had to navigate through some very rough territory by myself. The most important lesson from this informs all my work.

Win, lose or draw, come out with your integrity intact!

Goodwill to All!

Tags: